mental illness

I don’t want to, please don’t make me

I am staying with my family in Cologne for the holidays and I expect trouble of the high emotional kind. Last year I came clean about my bulimia, money and life and that didn’t go down to easily. This year I might be a little bit wiser about the nature of my condition but sadly no more accomplished in handling it than I was the year before. So many new kinds of emotions are going to hammer down on me any minute now. (more…)


The Unraveling, Bulimia Part 1

The Unraveling, cumulating with me trying to leave myself bloodless on the floor of my apartment in 2012, has been going on for at least three years. But it really started to make an impact when, in the spring of 2011, I decided to finally be done with pretending to be studying. I hadn’t gone to any seminar in quite some time and mostly used my state as a student to catch free rides on the public transit und work as a research assistant for a really nice and patient man. (more…)